... and other love blunders.
In a world full of rules, procedures and policies, it can often be difficult to see that not everything in life fits, or needs to fit, inside a neat little box, managed by neat little rules. Love is one of those things.
In relationships, there are at least two people. Sometimes the third+ person is another active partner, sometimes the extraneous person(s) are children, sometimes we even allow parents, friends, family members to actively play a role in our relationships. But somewhere in there are two or so people who love each other, trying desperately to survive as a couple in a world pegged against them.
When we love someone, most of the time we don't think twice about telling them so. But sometimes our fears of what the other person might think if we say those three little words, or what it might mean for the relationship if that feeling were expressed, stops us from telling those around us how we truly feel about them, and how important they are to us. Especially if you just aren't sure what you are wanting and needing from a particular person/relationship.
When it is alright to just let things happen? Why do we spend so much time trying to force things into such neat little packages? Why should it matter if you don't follow the rules, but instead, follow your heart? If we all stopped trying to play by some set of rules and just allowed ourselves to love and be loved, the world would be such a simpler, happier place. If you care about someone, so much so that you might even love them, tell them. Don't censor your feelings, don't hold back your desires; express them. The worst that can happen is you get rejected, but the best that can happen is that you get reciprocated. And given those odds, the joys of it being reciprocated far outweighs the hurt of being rejected.
There is no right or wrong way to love someone. There are no rules that will help you figure out what is right, when it's right, or how it's right. If you're doing what feels natural, that's right enough. If you're fighting impulses to be affectionate, or to reach out and let someone know you're thinking/missing/loving them, why? Love is joy. Why contain joy? Especially if that containment only causes the one you love pain for lack of that expression. Don't worry about the consequences more than you remember the rewards.
Regardless of the state or label of your relationship, the best way to have the best one is not to fight it, but to embrace it. Allow it to flow through you, cover you, become you. It will not take you over. It will only enhance the you you already are. There are no rules. Don't try to make your feelings of love, or your relationship, or your partner, conform to them.
Love is not logical. It just is. <3
