- to try to win the favor, preference, or goodwill of: to court the rich.
- to seek the affections of; woo.
- (of animals) to attempt to attract (a mate) by engaging in certain species-specific behaviors.
- to attempt to gain (applause, favor, a decision, etc.).
- to hold out inducements to; invite.
My boyfriend asked me, after researching the topic for a bit on the internet, "Is that what you want? No touching??" And I told him he missed the point by about 8 million miles.
Courting doesn't necessarily mean "no sex". It means romance. It means doing all the things to get a woman to fall in love with you. It means flowers, and [low-fat] chocolates, and opening her door and complimenting her finer qualities, and love letters and poetry and going out of your way to do something sweet and romantic and thoughtful, just because she's worth all of that and more. And most of all, because you love her and you want to show her just how much she means to you.
Somewhere along the way, it became practically illegal for a guy to be romantic. If a man shows feelings of any kind other than rage, he's automatically a sissy. And, to reiterate a little from my "Asshole Effect" post, there's nothing wrong with a romantic man. "Man" being the key term. We like them strong and protective, but we also like them romantic. We want to see the love, as well as hear it.
Romance is a tough one. Though, if guys would watch more Romantic Comedies with their girls, or with their guys, instead of sitting around circle jerking (pardon my French), they might be a little better at romance. The writers of those movies aren't idiots. There's a reason girls can't get enough of that mushy love stuff. And sometimes, even the scrawny, geeky, not overly manly guys get the girls, so it's not like we aren't open to other possibilities ;)
Now, sometimes, and I bring this up for my honey who would be sad I made him out to be a terrible boyfriend when in fact he is perfectly awesome, romance takes on a different dialect. Sometimes flowers translate into cleaning the litter pan out. And chocolates into making sure your kitties are well fed and petted while you're at work, and the water pitcher is never empty, and love letters are spelled out with vacuum stripes on the carpet. And that's alright. That's wonderful, even. That, my friends, is love.
But love and romance are different. Love is taking care of and helping someone with all of the necessities and responsibilities of life. Romance is all of the superfluous stuff that isn't on the Chore List. It's a necklace on her birthday instead of a toaster. Yes, she needs the toaster. But she wants the necklace. Give her the toaster on a Tuesday. Give her the necklace to show her she's special and amazing and deserves the finer, frivolous things she couldn't buy or do for herself.
The point is, romance is completely unnecessary, but 100% needed. We women do sweet, "unnecessary" things for you guys, that you claim not to hate, so why not return the favor? When we're happy, we're pretty good at making you happy. Hint, hint. So get on it, fellas! Show that special someone some extra special romance! Look it up! Watch a chick-flick! Pull your thumbs off the game controller long enough to go buy her some flowers! Or, better yet, go pick her some. Assuming, of course, she's not allergic, and you don't bring bugs into the house, and she's ok with the cheaper version of things ;) If she's allergic, hit up Michael's for a house full of plastic ones. If you know your girl at all, finding the sweet things she'll love shouldn't be hard. And if you're having trouble, browse her CD and DVD collection. Whatever she's watching or listening to, guaranteed she'll love it if you recreate it. Be smart, be sweet, and if she's worth having around, she'll at least love the effort.
Romance is the cherry on top of the loveseat full of bowlies.
("Life is just a chair full of bowlies" -Mary Englebright, from "Life is a bowl of cherries.")
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